Sorry I left you hanging, I had to fortify my apartment the last few days and I had a few “errands” to complete before I completely block myself from the world. Where was I? Oh yes coming back home. It dawned on me pulling in the driveway. My building has a “zombie” (I still don’t believe it, there’s got to be a medical explanation to all this) and potentially Jane would be one too if she survived the attack.I was half thinking about Jane and half thinking about how I could lure him out, when I pulled in too fast and knocked over the fence in the back parking lot. Beyond the fence was Butch. He’s the neighbors English bulldog. Bulldogs are usually quiet dogs but this one was an exception. It wasn’t even a bark; it sounded like an old smoker hacking up phlegm.  I needed about 15mins to take all my groceries up to the third floor. Would Butch be an adequate distraction? I left the ignition running and went to the back door. I could see Jane on the floor still very dead, but I couldn’t see her killer. More pissed than brave I swung the back door open and called him out: “Hey Fuck-Face! Over here!”  I wasn’t sure it knew I was insulting him, but hey, I was seeking his attention and that was the words that came out.  Silence. I wanted to go to Jane but I didn’t want to be cornered in the building. Forgive me Jane.  I wasn’t expecting it, but the fellow was in the basement and came out of nowhere behind the door! I fell backwards onto the concrete steps and the door shut close, but I did manage to get his undivided attention. I needed to buy some time, something to give me a few seconds head start to get to my car. 

I looked for something to create an obstacle and found a few garbage bags. I place them on the before last step and reached over to unlock the door with my key. Strangely he stopped banging the door and watched me reach for the keyhole. That was scarier than thrashing his body in the door because I knew he was waiting to gnaw on my noggin.  Shaking and reaching, it was the longest thirty seconds of my life. The race to the car was on as soon as I got the key horizontal and the deadbolt no longer held the door shut. My diversion worked, it stumbled down the stairs but got up quicker than I anticipated. I barely got into the car and it was upon me. I slammed the door on his fingers… cutting off his index to his pinky on his right hand.  This thing didn’t feel pain and was slapping the driver windows much like it did for the apartment doors.  I shifted the car in reverse and pulled out quickly in a semi-circle. I wanted to corner him in with the live bait on a leash: Butch, but he wanted nothing to do with a bulldog.  He didn’t even look at it.  So I backed the car up some more, I slammed into Jane’s car but kicked her into drive, tires spinning in the gravel before accelerating quickly.  I slammed into him. I was hoping the impact would send him flying into Butch’s backyard, but no he folded like a cheap rug under the hood of my car. 

I couldn’t see him and I was too much in shock over the gravity of the situation. I just ran over a person! I backed up slowly, no sign of him.  I went forward to use the front door and steering was hard. He was mangled in the front axel!  I parked in the front and unloaded.  As I carried the last bags I looked under the car… he was still alive with a face full of gravel and cuts from being dragged but he was still lusting to take a chunk out of me.  I left the car running and the driver door ajar.   

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The grocery store was worst. The poor girl behind the counter was terrified as the manager tossed out random attackers. The manager was bitten on the arm. He bandaged it up and continued kicking out these “rabid” people.  I forwarded calls to my cell phone. No call from my boss… I wasn’t going to work anyway. It was pay day and since rent was “taken care of” my grocery bill came to $646.78.  I had groceries in my trunk and backseat.  In the parking lot as I was putting away groceries, I saw a Buick run over a guy and he GOT UP!

The manager came running out with a butcher knife and he cleave the guy’s head clean off! Horrified, I stood there, my mouth I’m sure wide open. I’ll never forget his words: ” Get in your car son, protect yourself. I’ve got to make sure my staff gets out alive before I turn into a ZOMBIE!”

I refuse to believe he said “zombie”. They don’t exist. They are something George A. Romero invented! I knew I wasn’t safe so I drove home… but wait! There a fuckin’ zombie inside the lobby! what am I going to do? 

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I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going on. My name is Will and I’ve decided to fortified myself with three months of canned good in my third level apartment. Last Tuesday I came downstairs to pay my rent. I was 2 weeks behind as usual. The landlord is a MILF who forgives me for being late if I render her a few “services”. It’s not like that! I mow the lawn and paint empty apartments between tenants.  Anyway that’s not here or there. I got to the bottom of the steps and this “guy” was giving her a major neck hickey. I felt disappointed because I was too shy to do anything like that with Jane Killiam, my landlord of five and a half years. I raced to the exit looking away.  Suddenly I heard a thud as I was halfway out the door. I turned back and my landlord’s neck was CHEWED OFF! The dude had eaten Jane! Unaware the door was slowly closing, it somehow closed shut at the precise moment he charged at the door to get me. He had blood running down his face and no pupils. He was so frantic he kept bumping into the inch thick glass, never reaching for the door handle. I have taken pictures on my camera but I don’t dare look at it. Maybe when I get the nerve, I will post it.

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