A lifetime
August 27th, 2007 by surfacing
I am a firm believer in one’s experiences defining who they are…. I have had a lifetime of experiences in the past five years. I have gone from being in the hospital for two months to living on my own for the first time at 15 and working full time while homeschooling myself. I have worked in refugee camps in Europe…. been practically married for three and a half years. It is so strange being so sure of what you want and then just waking up one day and realizing that you are trapped in a life you hate. You really lose tract of who you are in relationships. Your dreams and aspirations get caught up in someone else’s. Every decision I made was based on how it would affect the other person. It was oppressive and heartbreaking being with someone who had no ability to show their love for you. I gave everything.. I am an all or nothing sort of person. After a while you just shut down.. stop letting yourself care for them. I ended it only to realize that I have completely lost myself and have to start from scratch again. So here I am slowly trying to sort myself out and discover who I am outside of a relationship. Its going to be a hell of a ride. I tend to do everything passionately. This is just another experience in a lifetime of experiences that are slowly shaping who I am.
And So I know